You know the one, that keeps things like this fresh and fun for everyone involved.
Sure, this is still fun, and I enjoy doing it. It's just that the sense of fun and enjoyment seems to have hit an all-time low recently. That would be bad enough if it was just affecting this blog, but really, it's not. It's affecting everything I try to do lately, it seems, and I'm not sure why I feel the way I do.
I should say right now that I'll probably do a lot of linking in this entry, because there are quite a few songs that are coming to mind as I'm writing this. It may also be a rather lengthy post, so get yourself something to drink and something to chew on, as you may be here awhile.
So, the question here is where to begin? Well, I guess with the just over two years I've been doing this. My first post here was on November 6, 2010, so Election Day was the official two-year anniversary. In that time, I've made going on 460 posts, a good many of which have been related to video games in some way. There has also been a lot of me just rambling on and talking out my ass about things. But when I started this thing up, it was really just an experiment, to see if I could keep it going and if so, for how long. I had no real intent of making it last this long, but nor was I thinking it would be over and done with, either. And that may be part of the problem.
As I'm sure anyone who's been around very long can confirm, a lot can change in the course of two years. And for me, a lot has. I've lost weight, I've got a new vehicle, I've got a raise or two in that time. So there are some good things that have happened in that time.
But there are some bad things that have come with them. Along with the additional income I've had lately has come the opportunity to eat better than I had been in the years between moving from my folks' place to my own and starting the blog. That's made it a little harder to keep losing weight, or even to keep what I've already lost off.
Another thing that's made the whole weight thing a little trickier is that I've been looking for ways to keep this interesting for myself, at least, and also for the handful of people who read this. It's a problem because I'm the sort of guy who takes his grocery list to the store and buys mostly from that, but if I've got a little extra money to work with and I see something that I'd like to try, I'll look at it and go "Oh, that looks interesting, I think I'll try it and write about it." But lately, I've been doing too much trying and not nearly enough writing, and it's starting to catch up with me again.
Add to that the fact that I recently got an iPhone. That might not seem like much, but the current gen phone I've got is fairly common for what's out there, which means a camera and a variety of related apps, including barcode and QR scanners. Scan the right things and you can find coupons and deals on just about anything you want to. Couple that with my tendency to abuse things as per the previous paragraph, and it only makes a bad situation worse.
And then there's this whole writing business. Lately, I've found myself starting a lot of drafts for things that never get much farther than that. There are people close to me in various capacities that have told me it's a good thing that happens, and I suppose they're right. There are some things that I just don't want to turn into published works. But there have been a good many things lately that I probably should have but didn't, at least not yet.
One of the things that falls into the latter category is a draft I've got about how my mind is clearer, and a lot of my senses seem to be working better than they have in a good ten years, anyway. The main thesis is how it's really great to be able to taste and smell and feel things again and to be able to process those things the way I could when I was in college.
The downside to that, however, is that having these things back has been something of a shock to the system, and there's some unseen part of my mind rebelling, trying to bring back the old haze over all these things that I find myself not wanting to cope with in other ways, like being responsible with my new income and toys, or the near-constant ear-splitting squeals, shrieks and screams that daily life seems to surround me with.
It all reminds me a bit of a line from Walking in Memphis by Marc Cohn: "But do I really feel the way I feel?" Over the course of the last ten or twelve years, I'd become so used to the foggy mind and having senses that were muted at best that had come with being in as bad shape as I had been, and largely still am, that now I'm not sure of what to make of these senses now that they're headed back towards some semblance of how they are for comparatively normal people.
There's more to this, of course, but that will have to come later. I'll try to get to it soon as I can. For now, though, I'm at what seems like a good place to stop for the moment. See you soon, folks.
No comments:
Post a Comment