I got to thinking about something other than the game I was playing when I was grinding for abilities in Final Fantasy IX the morning I wrote this.
What occurred to me is that I've been at FF9 for a couple years now, which is a bit longer than I'd really thought it would take. Granted, it's a long game, and I do have other things I need to do with my time as well, like, say, sleep, or go to my day job so I have money to pay for food and rent, just for a few examples. But that's only part of the reason why I'm still at this.
See, what I was really thinking at the time is that I've had literally decades at this point to finish quite a lot of the games I've started Text Plays of and then either really taken my time with or not finished at all. FF9, for example, quite literally came out twenty years ago this year. The North American release date was November 13, 2000. My brother and I bought Secret of Mana the year it came out, and that was in the mid 90s. I'm still working on FF9, and I gave up on SoM earlier this year.
With that in mind, I started to think that I was being influenced by some part of myself that didn't really want to finish these games for some reason. I'm not sure what that reason would be. It could be tied into some of what I was trying to talk about in that video game collection thing I put up back in August. I could have some psychological need for a collection of specifically unfinished video games, and I'm not sure why that is. It applies to quite a lot of games I own, though, stretching as far back as Secret of Mana. I've also got an SNES game called Breath of Fire that I've never finished, as well as the other two PSX era Final Fantasy games and a few others that I won't bother to list here, for sake of brevity.
It could just be that I'm the kind of guy who needs to always have a pile of projects to work on, and video games are a convenient way of doing that. I've also got stacks and stacks of writing projects of various sorts to finish and tons of other people's writing I want to read, just for the heck of it.
I'm not sure why I don't just get on with it. In that colleting article I did, I said I didn't really think any of this stuff would be all that life-changing, which is something that's been proven repeatedly by the things I have managed to finish over the years. They were fun games, or good reads for somebody, if not myself, but on the whole, the world is largely unchanged as a result, far as I can tell.
Anyway, I guess this is just a bit of my trying to talk myself into being done with a few things somehow and getting on with the rest of my life. Don't get me wrong, of course. I still intend to finish what I've got going on right now. I'm just not sure how I want to make that happen or where I want to go from there once I have.
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