Gelatin and Pudding

Because that's the snacky stuff I made for myself before getting to a few other things and writing this.

Even though there's food in the title, it's really not so much a part of what I'll be doing with this post. Sure, I'm going to start by mentioning that I've got some old instand gelatin and pudding in my cupboard, some of which has use-by dates on them that are almost a year ago. Those things don't exactly fit with the sort of eating style I've been going for, but they're also better choices than a good many of the things that show up in my JM Tries videos.

And speaking of the JMT videos, that's more of the direction I'm going with this post. Much as I like making those, and the Coffee Time videos I also do from time to time, I often think that I don't quite have the look or the voice to do that kind of thing more regularly than I do. That may or may not be the case, of course, but I've never been especially fond of my voice, and I'm sure I've mentioned my weight issues a few times, most recently with the bit in the first full paragraph of this thing. It really shows, even in the parts of me that one sees in most of my videos. This is not exactly to say that I think I'm ugly or sound awful, mind you. It's just that I don't thing I've got the right look or sound for.

I suppose this is what we could call a crisis of self-confidence, and a few other things, as well, I'm sure. I've never been sure I'm good enough to get anywhere with the video stuff I do. I'm the same way with the writing. To a lesser extent, perhaps, but I still feel lacking in that department as well.

Clearly not enough to completely stop me from trying to get somewhere with it. It's just that as time has passed over the last couple years, especailly, it's been harder and harder to keep at it. I know keeping at this regardless is what might eventually lead to my actually getting somewhere with it eventually. It's just that keeping at it has been difficult lately.

So that's kind of where I am right now. Not sure what to make of it, but here we are all the same.