Trying To Remember

More why I stopped than why I started.

Getting started with all this and keeping with it over most of the years I’ve been doing it has seemed easy enough for the longest time. I had plenty of ideas to work with and finding the time and energy to do something wasn’t much of a problem most of the time.

Now, though? Finding the time and motivation just isn’t as easy as it used to be. Still got plenty of ideas to work with. Just not as much time or energy lately.

And that’s just for keeping things where they are. As much as I enjoy doing all this for fun, I also often find myself wondering just how far I can go with all this if I really do start putting a little more effort into it.

That means making and/or finding time for things like learning to edit videos or getting better at art, or even finally putting more time into writing again.

At the same time, I still need money to keep my bills paid and fund all this. Right now, that means keeping my day job. The good news is that it does keep everything paid for, if only just barely. The bad news is that it hasn’t been as easy to do even as much as I want to or as I had been lately, let alone get anywhere with it.

That may be the worst part of it. Even as I find myself struggling to continue, at least, I keep finding evidence that I might actually be getting somewhere with all this even if and when I think I’m not. I keep getting new subscribers on YouTube. People have been liking my art liking my art on deviantArt, even if I don’t know why. Hell, I suspect people even read these things when I manage to get them posted.

In short, I’m getting noticed more now, which is a good thing, I suppose; kind of what I wanted. I’m just not sure if it’s what I wanted right now.

I think the point I’m aiming for here, if there is one, is that there a few things I could use a break from right now, and I’m not sure how to go about making that happen in an appropriate way. What that means for the future, I’m not sure. I’ll try to let people know when I get that sorted.