There are a couple of things I left out of the end of part one. Like I was saying, I tended to put stuff from my real life in these things, for flavor. In this episode, I had my little brother “cameo” as the “Brains” character, who brought in his laptop for the map scene. He was still in school for computer science at the time. That's not the direction his life went in the end, but then again, my life went in a different direction from where I'd thought, too.
Another real life thing that found its way into this one is that I'm more than a little stubborn about taking medicine for things when I'm sick or in pain. Always have been, and still am to this day. The reason for why I tend to work on these things as late at night as I do is a combination of too much caffene and the fact that my legs, and my left leg, especially, have a fair bit of arthritis in them for a man my age, and I just can't bring myself to take anything for it to help myself sleep unless I really push myself to. I probably did the night I wrote this, but since then, well, I have my doubts. I'm hoping for some sort of improvement on that front going forward, but only time will tell.
In the meantime, let's wrap this up, shall we?
* * * * * * * * * * * *
>
>
JESSE: At least we know where Black Falls is supposed to be, now.
>The Digimon was terrorizing people at the Mount Rushmore National Museum,
>and at >Mount Rushmore himself. He was large and made of rocks.
JERI: Which one?
JESSE: Well, I know the monument itself is just *one* rock...
RIKA: It's the Digimon.
>
> When he hit the rock cliff >with the monument on it, the
>whole ground shook.
>
>Luckily, a man had his laptop with him.
JESSE: What? Only one guy with a laptop there? That's an unusual day.
> He was too
>busy hiding when it popped open >and two kids were deposited on the ground
>in front of his car.
LEOMON: Gee, I wonder why?
>
>"Wow, that was strange," Jorge said.
>
>"You get used to it," Ryan said.
JESSE:[Ryan] It takes years, but eventually...
> They ran towards the monument.
>Ryan checked the >Digimon out on his D-4.
>
>------------------Digimon--------------------------------------Database-----------------------
>
>Name: Golemon
JESSE: Coalmon? There's one named Coalmon?
RIKA: No, that's *Golemon*, as in *Golem*.
JESSE: Oh, the Monster Rancher character.
>Level: Champion
>Type: Rock Digimon
JESSE: Just like a stoner to think Mount Rushmore is attacking him.
>Attribute: Virus
>Attack: Crimson Curse, Golemon Punch.
>
>Ryan: It's Golemon, a champion level virus type Digimon. His whole body's
>made out >of granite which makes it pretty hard to hurt him.
RIKA: Drugs tend to do that, though.
> His
>attacks are Crimson Curse and >Golemon Punch.
>
JESSE: Is that Golemon Punch stuff any good?
RENAMON: Golemon Punch... Oh, I get it...
>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>Golemon demonstrated his Golemon Punch on Mount Rushmore.
JESSE:[South Park's Kyle] That bastard! He killed the Four Faces!
>
> People screamed for >cover.
RIKA: They also ran in fear.
RENAMON: That part at least makes sense.
>
>"It's time," Ryan declared. His plastic case opened and the Betamon card
>came out.
JESSE: Wait. Betamon's "*that* way"?
>
>"Betamon, digimerge!" Ryan commanded as he sliced the card through his
>D-4. >Immediately the card took life and became Betamon.
>
>"Hi, Ryan, what's shaking?"
>
>"Mount Rushmore, look." Betamon turned to look at Golemon.
>
JESSE:[Washington] What?
LEOMON:[Jefferson] Huh?
RIKA:[Roosevelt] What's that?
JERI:[Lincolin] Is something happening?
>"Cool, it's Golemon."
>
>"Cool? His terrorizing people, even hurting them!"
RENAMON: What about it?
JESSE:[Betamon] It's really schwag.
>
>"I know, but I always wanted to meet one."
>
>Ryan raised his eyebrow. Betamon just revealed an interesting fact, that
>there is more >than one of each type of Digimon.
JESSE: What? Is that supposed to come as a suprise or something? I mean,
that's something Season One sorta establihed...
There's more than one
Golemon, maybe even more >than one Betamon.
RENAMON: And?
>
>"Go get him, Betamon," Ryan encouraged. Betamon hop-dashed to Golemon.
>
JESSE:[Worms 2 voice] Hop! Hop! Hep! Hop!
>"Beta Slugger!" The small ball of energy hit Golemon's head but had no
>affect.
>
>"Crimson Curse!" Red smoke came out of Golemon's mouth. Betamon coughed
>and >fell back.
LEOMON:[Betamon] Oh, wow, man! I am *so* high right now!
>
>"Betamon needs help," Ryan said as he pressed a button on the side of his
>D-4.
JESSE:[imitates MST3K's "credits button"]
>"Betamon, digivolve!"
>
>DIGIVOLUTION
>
>"Betamon, digivolve to... Seadramon!" The large serpent moved forward and
>attempted >to wrap his body around Golemon. He then sent both of them
>careening into Mount >Rushmore.
>
JESSE: Incuring the quiet wrath of the entire state of South Dakota.
RIKA:[to Seadramon] Smooth move, Sherlock.
>"Seadramon, you're suppose to save the monument, not cause it more harm!"
>
LEOMON:[Dakota accent] Are ya sure?
>"Sorry," Seadramon said as he moved away. "Ice Blast!" The blast of ice
>froze >Golemon's arm, but he freed it by flexing his muscles.
JESSE: Well, I guess we all saw that coming.
>
>Ryan then noticed that Jorge was standing straight, staring, face pale as
>his own.
JESSE: So, Jorge's face looked like...
LEOMON: ...Jorge's face?
RENAMON: What?
>
> Jorge >had a scary
>thought. What if Golemon turned on them. Seadramon wouldn't be able to
> >protect them. He wouldn't be
>
JESSE: Wouldn't be what? Finishing sentences?
JERI: I guess not.
>"Jorge, get with the program, I need your help here." Jorge shook out of
>his trance and >stared at the Gotsumon card.
RIKA:[Jorge] I still don't know what I was thinking when I chose this...
>
>"Jorge!"
JESSE:[Jorge] What?!?
>
>Jorge summed up all his courage.
RIKA: He needed about four words.
JESSE:[Jorge] I have no courage...
> "Gotsumon, digimerge!"
>He sliced the card through >his D-4.
LEOMON: And tore it to shreds.
>
>The card took the form of a strange bear-like creature covered in rocks.
>
>------------------Digimon--------------------------------------Database-----------------------
>
>Name: Gotsumon
JESSE: Meow!
>Level: Rookie
>Type: Rock Digimon
>Attribute: Data
JESSE: *Lieutenant Commander* Data.
>Attack: Rock Fist, Crazy Crusher
>
>Gotsumon: Hello, I'm Gotsumon. I'm a rough and tough rock Digimon. People
>don't >take me for granite. Get it, granite?
JESSE:[Fozzie Bear] Waka waka waka!
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>Ignoring the pun, Jorge went up to him. "Nice to meet you, Gotsumon. I'm
>Jorge. I >guess I'm the one who brought you here."
>
RIKA: You *guess*? I would think that would be fairly clear.
>"Cool, you look like a down-to-Earth fellow. Uh... no pun intended."
>
JESSE: Thank you. Thank you so much. I don't think we could have taken
another so soon.
>Jorge rolled his eyes. Gotsumon sure liked puns on himself.
LEOMON: Better than liking filth on yourself.
JESSE: That much is for sure.
>
>"Gotsumon, Seadramon needs your help with Golemon."
>
>"Golemon? Cool, I always wanted to meet one."
RENAMON: Now there's a familiar line...
>
>Jorge, surprisingly, was calm as a cucumber. "Gotsumon, please help us."
>
>"Okay." Gotsumon ran forward. "Hey, Golemon. Crazy Crusher!" Gotsumon
>rolled >into a ball and threw himself at Golemon. Golemon winced as
>Gotsumon hit on his >head.
JESSE: Clink!
> Gotsumon pushed off and twirled to look at Golemon.
RIKA: Who realized that he should just *shove* off.
>
>"Rock Fist!" Gotsumon sent a rock pummeling into Golemon. Seadramon used
>this >opportunity to wrap Golemon in its body again. "Rock Fist!"
>Gotsumon sent a rock >pummeling at Golemon.
LEOMON: Twice in a row?
> Golemon roared in pain.
JESSE:[Golemon] Oh, my area! Oh!
>
>Seadramon used this distraction to wrap Golemon in his body.
RIKA: Again? Isn't once enough?
>
>"Crimson Curse!" Golemon tried using his attack again but Seadramon held
>his breath.
>
JESSE: "Seadramon held his breath." His own or Golemon's?
RENAMON: Good question.
>"Jorge, make Gotsumon digivolve," Ryan instructed.
>
>Jorge stared at his digivice. How did he know that if Gotsumon, didn't
>digivolve that he >wouldn't go crazy like Golemon? Was it worth the risk.
>
JESSE: The farther they take this, the loster I get.
>"Jorge, if you don't make Gotsumon digivolve, I'll do it for you." Jorge
>gave Ryan a >pained look and pressed the button on the side of his D-4.
>
>DIGIVOLUTION
>
>"Gotsumon, digivolve to... Monochromon!"
JERI: Hey! Everything just went black and white!
>
>Just like Betamon, Gotsumon's body began glowing with digital numbers. It
>morphed >into a large burly four-legged like being that looked like a cross
>between a Rhinocerous >and a Triceratops.
JESSE: Man, that's one *horny* fella!
RENAMON: Hey, now!
>
>------------------Digimon--------------------------------------Database-----------------------
>
>Name: Monochromon
>Level: Champion
>Type Dinosaur Digimon
>Attribute: Data
JESSE: Did Trekkies design this game or something?
LEOMON: Why do you ask?
JESSE: There are so many Data class attributes in this series.
>Attack: Volcanic Strike, Slamming Attack
RIKA: And Color Remover.
>
>Seadramon: Say hello to Monochromon, a dinosaur Digimon with iron-like skin
>and a monomolecular-sharp horn.
JESSE:[singing] Star Trekkin' across the universe; boldly going forward
`cause we can't find reverse!
> His attacks are volcanic
>strike and slamming attack.
RENAMON: Plus he can take all the color out of his surroundings.
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>Monochromon charged forward and rammed Golemon. Golemon fell back into the
> >mountain. Monochromon charged again and flipped Golemon into the air
>with his >horn.
JESSE: Man, talk about *horning in* on someone's turf!
>
>"Volcanic Strike!" A fireball came out of Monochromon's mouth and struck
>Golemon >dead on. Golemon dissolved into data.
>
>Ryan and Jorge were about to celebrate the victory when the mountain began
>shaking >violently.
>
>"The battling must've caused it to become unstable," Jorge realized.
>
JESSE: Ah, well. Crazy Horse Mountain will be done in about ten or twenty
years.
>"Ryan, Frigimon's Sub-Zero Ice Punch should be strong enough to freeze it
>in place," >Seadramon explained.
>
LEOMON: Is it moist enough there for that to work?
JESSE: Not that I remember, but I don't think that'll stop anything.
>"All right, but how do we get it on there?"
RIKA: Well, it would have helped if you hadn't *destroyed* it in the first
place...
>
>Monochromon dedigivolved to Gotsumon.
>
>"Give it to me," Gotsumon said.
JESSE:[singing] Give it to me, baby, uh huh, uh huh!
>
>Ryan turned to Jorge. "Hold out your Digivice," he instructed. Jorge held
>out his D-4. >Ryan touched Jorge's digivice to his own. They glowed
>briefly.
JERI: Didn't need that image.
>
>"There, download completed," Ryan announced. "Now try it."
>
>"All right. Digi-Download Frigimon Data!"
JESSE: How did he know to say that?
>
>DIGIVOLUTION.
>
>"Gotsumon, digivolve to... Icemon!" Ryan and Jorge stood stun-struck at
>Icemon. He >looked like Gotsumon except his color was white.
>
>------------------Digimon--------------------------------------Database-----------------------
>
>Name: Icemon
JESSE: Today on Digimon: Digi-Defenders: Classic MegaMan day!
>Level: Champion
>Type: Icy Snow Digimon
>Attribute: Data
>Attack: Ice Bomb, Ice Strike
>
>Ryan: I don't know how to explain it, but giving Gotsumon Frigimon's data
>enabeled >him to digivolve again.
RIKA: You noticed that, huh?
> This time, he's Icemon. In addition
>to Frigimon's attacks, he >has Ice Bomb and Ice Strike.
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>"Seadramon, give me a lift," Icemon said leaping onto Seadramon's head.
>Seadramon >carried Icemon to the top of Mount Rushmore.
JESSE: The quarter of it that was left, anyway.
>
>"Sub-Zero Ice Punch!" Icemon froze a crack in the mountain. He continued
>doing that >to all the cracks in the mountain. In the end, Mount Rushmore
>looked like it had white >patches on it.
LEOMON: What happens when it all melts?
> Icemon dedigivolved to Gotsumon. They regrouped in the
>woods near >Mount Rushmore.
>
>"That rocked," Gotsumon said.
RENAMON: Must he always do those silly puns?
JESSE: They do get old fast, don't they?
> "I can't believe I
>digivolved into two different >Digimon."
>
>"Why don't you keep Frigimon's data?" Ryan suggested. "You never know
>when >Icemon might come in handy. Besides, Seadramon already has an ice
>attack.
>
>"Thanks, Ryan, but now you don't have any data. Wait a minute." Jorge
>touched Ryan's >digivice to his own and again they glowed. Golemon's data
>transferred to Ryan's D-4.
>
>"Go ahead, Ryan, try it out."
>
>"All right. Digi-Download Golemon Data!"
JESSE: OK, so the way I understand it is that they both get the data *and*
make their Digimon evolve with that phraze.
JERI: They can take their oponent's data?
JESSE: They could in the first episode.
>
>DIGIVOLUTION
>
>"Betamon, digivolve to... Mud Frigimon!" Mud Frigimon looked like Frigimon
>except >for his color which was brown.
>
>------------------Digimon--------------------------------------Database-----------------------
>
>Name: Mud Frigimon
JESSE: Boy, Frigimon's one popular guy. He's been in all the episodes so
far, in one form or another
>Level: Champion
>Type: Mutant Digimon
JESSE:[chuckles]
RIKA: What?
JESSE: Now I'm waiting for the Mutant Freak type. [chuckles]
>Attribute: Data
>Attack: Heavy Punch, Mud Ball
>
>Gotsumon: Mud Frigimon. He's different from Frigimon in the fact that his
>powers are to throw mud at his opponents.
>
JESSE: Sounds like the perfect politician.
>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>"That still doesn't explain why Betamon and Gotsumon can digivolve twice."
>
>"Let's go ask the Commander."
>
JESSE: And let's take another break before I go nuts again.
[All exit theater]
[Lobby. JESSE and LEOMON are at the claw game. The ladies are nowhere
around.]
JESSE: Ha! Remembered my medicine this time. [reads bottle] Take one
capsule every four hours as needed.
LEOMON: Sounds reasonable. Didn't you say you had a funny story you wanted
to tell me?
JESSE: Oh, yes. I did. Just a second here. [takes pill] You'll love this.
You know why I'm all beat up like this?
LEOMON: I thought you were in a fight or something.
JESSE: Well, Renamon was.
LEOMON: What does Renamon being in a fight have to do with you being beaten
up unless you were fighting with her?
JESSE: That's the funny part. She thought *I* was *you*! Heh heh heh.
LEOMON: Seriously?
JESSE: Yeah, seriously.
LEOMON: Well, I guess your beard *does* kinda make you look like me.
JESSE: Well, I suppose so, but you're what, four feet taller than I am?
LEOMON: About that.
JESSE: Right, and there's the fact that you're a musclebound swordsman
whereas I'm a walking mound of lard that couldn't punch out the open end of
a wet paper bag.
LEOMON: Oh, give yourself a little more credit. After all, you took a real
beating and are up and around barely two weeks later.
JESSE: True. I just don't think I'll be able to get over the fact that
Renamon thought I was you untill the others pulled her off me. At least,
not any time soon.
LEOMON: Why's that?
JESSE: Well, she didn't pick up on the differences in height *and* strength
*or* my inability to resist. You'd think all those things would have stood
out.
LEOMON: I guess those things *would* make it harder to get over.
JESSE:Well, I suppose the others are about back from the restroom by now.
We'd better get back in the theater.
[both enter theater]
[Artificial ad: On sale now: the "Best of J. Michael Shearer's Theater 3000"
soundtrack, featuring all the songs featured in the first five episodes of
"JMST3K," "The Rugrats Movie" through "Digimon: Digi-Defenders: Episode 2"!
Available now in finer stores nowhere!]
>
>
>"That's a good question, Ryan," The Commander said. "And let me show you."
> She >took them over to a table that was hidden in the wall. She laid out
>Gotsumon and >Betamon's cards.
>
JESSE:[Jack Horkheimer] Now that we've got our game table set up for
Gotsumon vs. Betamon...
>"Gotsumon and Betamon can digivolve directly to Monochromon and Seadramon
> >without any problem.
JESSE:[Jack Horkheimer] As previously demonstrated.
> But sometimes, when you give a Digimon certain
>powers, it >cooresponds to a Digimon that the rookie can digivolve into as
>well. One example >would be if you gave Toy Agumon Raidramon's powers, he
>would digivolve into >Thundermon because Thundermono is basically
RIKA: Spanish.
>
>Toy Agumon with Raidramon's >powers."
LEOMON: That kinda makes sense.
>
>"Oh, I'm beginning to see," Ryan said. "They didn't have this on the
>television show."
>
JESSE: Crash goes the fourth wall...
>"Over time, you will discover that your D-4's have powers you don't expect
>them to >have."
>
RIKA: Ours have proven so, anyway.
>"I can't wait," Nikolai said.
>
>"Calm down, psycho kid," Mari said.
>
>"Hey, watch it, Ice Queen."
>
>"Why don't you shut your mouth, freak!"
>
>"Why don't you make me, Princess Bubbly."
LEOMON and JESSE:["You will go to the Moon," Moxy Fruvis] Orbiting Rondelle!
LEOMON:[singing, Moxy Fruvis style] Boom boom boom boom...
JESSE:[also singing Moxy Fruvis syle] You will go to the moon...
JERI: Wow, a duet!
RENAMON: Get Takato and Guilmon with them and they'll be a good quartet.
>
>The others watched this battle of the wits.
JESSE: Halfwits, anyway.
>
>"Are we going to have to listen to this the whole time?" Chi wined.
>
>"I hope not," Eli replied.
>
RIKA: But for the sake of character development, we probably will.
>Jorge said, "I think those two are the youngest of all of us here." The
>others nodded.
>
>
>
>"Sir," Riley called. "The Wild One detected in America, it's gone."
>
>"That's impossible!" Yamaki said. "There's no force on Earth powerful
>enough to >destroy a Wild One in such short a time.
JESSE: Not unless that force can use the Force.
Not even
those stupid children have the >ability."
>
RENAMON: No, not the stupid children they're showing us now.
JESSE: Which ones you talking about?
RENAMON: Lighterboy and his friends.
>"That's what you think," Riley muttered.
>
>"What was that, Riley?"
>
JESSE:[Riley] Up yours, boss.
>"Nothing, sir."
>
>"Thought so." And Yamaki left the control room, leaving Riley to her own
>devices.
>
>
>*In case you guys are wondering, I'm currently have a story focusing on
>Riley in >process,
JESSE: I just hope the process doesn't get jammed.
> that's why I wrote all that about the Tamers battling Maildramon,
>Apemon, and >Metal Tyrannomon.
JESSE: I can't wait to see it.
JERI: Me either.
[all exit theater]
[Lobby. All are at the consession stand]
JESSE: So, what did everybody think?
RIKA: I think I can speak for us all when I say we liked it.
[Others sound in agreement]
LEOMON: So, Renamon, why *did* you want to fight me?
RENAMON: Jesse told you, didn't he?
JESSE: Sorry. Couldn't resist.
RENAMON: I just wanted to see if I could take you in a fair fight, Leomon.
LEOMON: We shouldn't fight. We're on the same side, after all.
JESSE: What gets me is that you couldn't tell that I wasn't Leomon.
RIKA: Well, you're both kinda cute. In your own ways, of course.
JERI: Yeah.
RENAMON: I must agree.
JESSE: Wow! Two compliments in one day! I sure hope I can live up to them,
considering who I'm being compaired to.
LEOMON: You're doing fine so far.
RIKA: We'd better get going, Jesse. It's been fun, though.
JERI: Yeah. Takato and Henry are meeting us for dinner downtown.
JESSE: Well, hey, have fun! And if you get there early, tell the guys I
recommend a place called Minerva's.
JERI: We will.
JESSE: And also, feel free to come back in a week or two. I'm sure Episode
Three will be here by then!
LEOMON: Certainly. We look forward to it.
[Digimon and Tamers leave]
JESSE: Well, I s'pose I'd better hobble on down to the arcade and wait for
Brains to come along.
{{Credits. Music: "Hail, South Dakota"/South Dakota state song}}
Digimon copyright Bandai and Saban.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 and concept copyright Best Brains and Sci-Fi
Channel.
Star Trek copyright Paramount.
Babylon Five copyright Warner Bros.
Monster Rancher copyright
South Park copyright Comedy Central.
Muppets copyright Jim Henson
Jack Horkheimer's Stargazer copyright Miami Space Transit Museum.
Batman copyright DC Comics.
MegaMan copyright Capcom.
Star Wars copyright George Lucas Productians.
Windows copyright Microsoft.
Worms 2 copyright Team 17.
"Crazy Love, Vol. 2" copyright Paul Simon.
"You Will Go to the Moon" copyright Moxy Fruvis.
"Hip to be Square" copyright Huey Lewis and the News.
"Star Trekkin'" copyright its performers.
South Dakota state song copyright the State of South Dakota.
Rover_Wow's website copyright Varakorn Ungvichian.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
One thing I didn't really think about until I got around to doing the prep work for this set of posts is that this little MiSTing series of mine didn't really have any standard “theme music” of its own back in the day, at least not for the “full length episodes” like these. There wasn't any main title theme, mostly because I was too lazy to come up with one, and the end credits song changed with each new “episode,” and it usually pertained to a joke or running gag along the way, which is why I went with Kick In The Ass by Moxy Fruvis for episode one, Hail South Dakota here, and various other ones as the series went on. Might get ambitious enough to make a playlist of those, especially if there's interest from whoever might be reading these
The “shorts” based on email spam from back then were a different story. I'd come up with a little parody of the One-Reel Wonders theme from the segment on Turner Classic Movies that I'd uncreatively called “Bandwidth Wasters” for the intro, and the credits theme was Megaman RoboVoice by Joe Redifer. Probably not what he'd intended to happen with the little remix he did, but it did kinda fit the theme of those. It honestly wouldn't surprise me if the last verse is actually pretty close to what whatever fans I had back then felt every time a new one of those came out.
As for the episode itself, the whole vague resemblance to the Leomon character I'm putting in here shows up at leas one more time in the early episodes of this, that I can remember. It's part of the whole continuity thing I was going for at the time. It was meant as a joke, mostly, as I'm hoping came through in that one host segment
Anyway, before I do finish this one out, I'd just like to ask what folks think of having these things come out on a more or less set schedule like this. It might help with making the schedule I was talking about in this post, and who knows, it might even help me get back to doing more of the creative stuff I like doing and hope everybody else likes seeing too.
As I said at the end of part one, there's always more to come, and hopefully it won't take another month to get episode 3 up. Until then, stay tuned, folks.
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