Like I was sayint in the previous part of this, I think this episode as a whole has one of the larger in-theater casts I ever did, with five. I can think of only one or two where I might have done more, but I can't recall which ones they might have been. Five was a bit much anyway.
As I was writing the draft for this intro, I started to wonder if I hadn't used the joke about the huge drink in an earlier episode as well. Things like that were getting silly even back then and have only gotten moreso in the twenty years or so since I wrote this bit.
Something I'll address more at the end is the bit about the rules to the actual card game. I'd intended to at least try to learn them, but for various reasons, it didn't work out.
For now, though, here's this week's bit:
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
[jump]
[Theater. ELI has farthest seat in, then JESSE, JORGE, RICK, and ASHLEY on the aisle. The silhouette of ASHLEY's drink is the first gag.] >Digimon: Digidefenders > >Episode 7: Two Of A Kind/The Mountain Adventure > >The Headquarters of the Digidefenders was unusually quiet. Today, the Commander >summoned Jorge, Eli, and Ashley there. They arrived there but the Commander was >nowhere to be found. RICK: What about the technicians? JESSE: Don't want to know what the Commander was doing... > So to pass the time, Jorge and Ashley taught Eli the Digimon >card game. Jorge himself learned from Rick after their battle against Golemon. JESSE: Oh, hey. I found a copy of the rules on the Internet. I could use some help figuring them out... RICK: Sure > >It was twenty minutes after the three arrived that the Commander walked in. JESSE: Yeah, not nineteen minutes or twenty-one minutes, but *exactly* twenty. > Ignoring >the mess of cards on the floor of the control room, she handed each of them a palm >pilot. > JESSE:[to ASHLEY] Wait. Didn't you already have one of those? ASHLEY: Yes, but it got rained on the day I got back from my first visit to headquarters. It quit working right away. >"I understand you three don't have access to computers so you can't use the Digiport. >These are rigged up to a satellite that's currently not in use. You can use them >whenever you can't get access to a computer." > >"What are these things?" Eli asked, turning it over in his hand. > >"They're called the D-Pilots. They function as a portable Digiport. With these, you can >go places where there are no computers." JESSE: So now you've got *both* the cool Digimon *and* one of the Digi-copters? ELI: Well, I guess I just got two good breaks in a row. RICK: How do you figure? JESSE: Well, Hagurumon's a robot Digimon, which is pretty cool. ELI: Yeah, and now I can do remote access, too! > >As the Commander explained the use of the D-Pilots, a proximity alarm went off. The >sound was quiet at first so they didn't hear it until it got loud enough for them to hear. > >The Commander sat at the terminal. "There's a Crossover. Apparently it's in... the >Sakorgi Mountains near the India-China boarder. Jorge, I want you to take care of it. JESSE: Now, there's an obscure location for you... > >"Commander, I'm not sure I can..." > >"Don't worry, Jorge," Ashley said. "Most of the Digimon we've been battling are >Champion or Armored, the only exception being those four weird Ultimates that Shinji >and Chi encountered in Tokyo. You'll do fine. Good luck." > >"Thank you. Digi-port open! Datalink to India!" Jorge disappeared in a flash of light. JESSE: So you're like Q or something now? ELI: Only we don't give James Bond neat tools. > > >Jorge materialized in a dense forest. JESSE:[imitates transproter sound from Next Generation] > The satellite that picked up his data from the >Internet and dropped him off worked like a charm. He activated his D-4's tracking >system but it picked nothing up.
Jorge moved it around but still picked nothing up. JESSE: Sounds alot like the Black Mage's luck in the web comics... > He >was just about to walk in any random direction when his D-Pilot began to glow. A thin
>figure appeared. It was Mari LeChon, the Digidefender of France. > >"Mari, what are you doing here?" ASHLEY:[Mari] Being slightly stiff and a little bit bitter while I help you. RICK: Don't let her hear you say that. > >"Well I appeared just as you left. The Commander told me what was going on so I
>immediately came here." > >"So you came to help me?" > >"Heck no, I came here to defeat the Digimon and send him back to the Digital World. I
>only appeared out of your mini computer thing." ELI: So, Mari was there so *you* could help *her*, Jorge? JORGE: Well, that's how she said it. > >"It's called a D-Pilot," Jorge said annoyed. "And the Commander asked me to do it." > >"Well if you get to him before I, then so be it, but I'm going to find him first so you
>might as well go back to Mexico or wherever you came from." JESSE: Boy, Mari just can't learn to be nice to her teammates, can she? RICK: She's getting better, though. JORGE: I think this adventure really helped her with that. > >Jorge had a hurt look on his face. Mari noticed that. > >"Look, Pedro, nothing personal, but you're not a fighter. It takes someone with guts and >skill to do this job. You probably have lots of guts, but as for skill, few people have >that. I just happen to be one of those who have both. JESSE: At this point, it looks like you still lead in brains, Jorge. JORGE: Thank you
Now, if you want to watch me put >him away then go right ahead, but stay out of my way." And she turned and went off. > >Jorge fumed, thankful to any and all deities out there that there were no more people
>like her out there in the world.
>
JESSE: I can think of *one* other person like Mari.
JORGE: Who?
JESSE: Her name is Rika.
ELI: But what's her *real* name?
JESSE: Rika.
RICK: No, really, what's her name?
JESSE: Seriously. It is!
>
>Mari peeked behind her to see if Jorge was following. She felt sorry for the kid, but she >never sugar-coated things. People deserved to live in reality, not relish in some sort of >pretend fantasy world.
RICK: I don't know about that.
ELI: Well, it's a balance of extremes, really.
ASHLEY: Yeah, plain corn flakes are good, but it's nice to have the ones with frosting every once in a while.
> The kid would just have to live with it.
>
>Suddenly her D-4 went off. The Digimon was very close. Very close.
RICK: *Very very* close.
> Mari went >forward about five paces and bumped into something. She looked up and saw a huge >dark shadow.
JESSE:[hums theme to *Dark Shadows*]
RICK: Heh.
> It's general size and shape was that of a human, but the color was pure >black. It was almost like a living shadow.
JESSE: Never a Vorlon around when you need one.
>
>"So you're the Digimon," Mari said. "Well you got ten seconds to head back to >wherever you came from before I get medieval on you."
>
>The Digimon laughed. It was a deep bellow laugh. "Oh please, what can you do?"
ASHLEY: Why do they always ask that?
>
>"Well I'll just show you," Mari said getting ready to Digimerge Floramon.
>
>"No you won't," the Digimon came back. "Midnight Blaster!" A ball of energy formed >in his hands and launched at Mari.
RICK:[Goku] Ka.... *ME*... ha... *ME*...
> The girl just dodged it in time.
>
ELI: Ha!
>{Whoa, this guy isn't fooling around,} Mari thought as the ball of energy destroyed the >ground behind her. {I better take him out fast or I'll be taken out.}
JESSE: That would be one wierd date.
ASHLEY: *This* is turning into one wierd date.
>
>"Floramon, digimerge!" Mari slid her card through the slot on her D-4. The card came >alive.
>
>"Careful," she said to Floramon. "He isn't a pushover. Time to give you some extra >power. Digi-Download Boarmon data!" Floramon's hands become energized with fire.
JESSE: I get the feeling things are going to get confusing from here on.
>
>"Boarmon Fire Blast!" As the name suggested, beams of fire lanced out at the >Digimon. He stood firm and took the blast head on. The blast was absorbed by his >stomach.
JESSE:[turns head slightly]
>
>"Try again," Mari commanded.
>
>"Boarmon Fire Blast!" Again, the blast was absorbed by the Digimon's stomach.
ELI: That's hard to watch.
JESSE: You're telling me.
>
>"Try another attack."
>
>"Rain of Pollen!"
>
>"Midnight Blaster!" The sphere of energy absorbed the pollen attack.
>
>Jorge heard the sounds of battle and ran towards the source. Once he saw Floramon >locked in battle with this Digimon, he stopped in his tracks. He looked at his D-4.
>
>------------------Digimon--------------------------------------Database-----------------------
>
>Name: Nochemon
>Level: Ultimate
>Type: Phantom
>Attribute: Data
>Attacks: Midnight Blaster, Shadow Attack
>
>Jorge: Nochemon. Yikes, he's an ultimate, no wonder Floramon's having so much >difficulty. His body is so dark that it makes him a living shadow.
>
RICK: He was no bueno Digimon.
JORGE: No.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>"Despite how tough Floramon is, there's no way she can handle him alone. Mari is >going to need some serious help. Gotsumon, digimerge!" Gotsumon appeared. >"Gotsumon, digivolve!"
>
>DIGIVOLUTION
>
>"Gotsumon, digivolve to... Monochromon!" Monochromon rammed Nochemon from >behind.
JESSE: So now he's Proctomon!
>
>"YEOW!" Nochemon cried, he jumped twenty-five feet into the air, rubbing his butt >in pain.
ASHLEY: Who wouldn't, after a living rock pile rams you there?
>
>"Hey Barrio Boy, I thought I told you you couldn't handle this."
>
>"You don't know Nochemon," Monochromon said. "He's an ultimate, and a real >powerful one too."
>
>"You don't say. Now I know what to do."
>
>"Too bad you won't get a chance to do it," Nochemon said. "You and your little friend >are going down! Midnight Blaster!"
JESSE: It spells "Die, Mari, die" as it shoots toward her.
>
>"Volcanic Strike!" The two attacks collided with each other with a shockwave that >shook everyone back. The ground began rumbling a little, then stopped.
>
>"This ground looks shaky," Floramon said. "Mari, we might want to move this >battle someplace else."
>
>"I'm not retreating."
JORGE: Let's not trust Mari to do the tactics for awhile, OK?
OTHERS: OK.
>
>"You won't be, you'll just be... changing the battlefield."
>
>"If we don't finish him now, we'll never get to finish him. Do you still have >Boarmon's data?"
>
>"I think so."
JESSE: So, that data transfer thing works kinda like Final Fantasy Eight's magic system, then?
RICK: I suppose it does.
>
>"Good. You and Monochromon combine your attacks. I decided to allow you in on >this, Pedro. Go to it!"
>
>"Wait!" Jorge protested but it was too late.
>
>"Volcanic Strike!"
>
>"Boarmon Fire Blast!"
>
JESSE: [Worms 2] Stupid!
>"Midnight Blaster!" The three attacks converged with a devastating backshock. The >ground underneath the Digidefender began to give away.
JESSE:[to tune of *Dragnet* theme] That was dumb, that was really dumb...
> >Because it could no longer support the combined weight of Mari, Jorge, Floramon, >and Monochromon, the Digidefenders fell into a deep chasm. > ASHLEY: Can we take a break for a couple? I guess this drink was too big after all. JESSE: Sure. [All exit theater] [Lobby. RICK and JESSE are studying a Web page on the laptop. The others are nowhere around] JESSE: You sorta gotta know your Digimon to buy from this site. That's not me. RICK: I could use this one, though. Looks like they've got alot of good ones up for trade. JESSE: Sure does. I just wouldn't know how to use them. RICK: Have you found a place that sells starter kits? JESSE: Oh, yeah. [clicks the laptop's mouse] There's this website here, but I'm not sure if I want to spent that much on it. RICK: But that's only seven bucks. JESSE: Yeah, but then they'll want at least another five for shipping and handling. And at least five more to register for their service. RICK: That does kinda add up. JESSE: Especially when I think I saw a couple places here in town that sell them for six and a half after sales tax. RICK: I guess we could do a quick onceover of the rules. JESSE: Sure, why not. RICK: Well, if there were an actual game going on, there'd be a game board on the counter, and we'd each need our own decks. JESSE: Right. RICK: The exact number would depend on the specific type of game, called a deul, being played. JESSE: There's more than one type? RICK: Yep. Street and Arena. But the rules are pretty much the same. JESSE: Sounds interesting. RICK: It is. Anyway, once the cards are drawn, there's a coin toss to see who gets to select power ups first. JESSE: Then it's onto the fight or whatever? RICK: Exactly. Whoever's cards have the highest ratings the most often wins. Then there's a regroup stage. JESSE: Sounds confusing. Kinda complex, too. RICK: It can be, at first. But I think you'll get a handle on it as quick as anyone. JESSE: Well, hey, thanks. [The other Digidefenders can be seen going into the theater in the background] RICK: I suppose we'd better get back in there, too. JESSE: Yep.
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
As I was saying in the intro, when I was writing this episode originally, I had thought about trying to get into the card game the anime series was based on. I'd found the rules online someplace, and I'd even bought a pack of the cards themselves It wasn't meant to be because by then, I was back at my current day job and also taking classes to be a medical transcriptionist as well. Between that and all the other stuff I had going on at the time, it turned out that it just wasn't meant to be because I'm not sure I would have been able to find anyone to play with even if I'd had more time for it.
I still have the card set on the bookshelf in my office, and just may do an Odds And Ends And Stuff video about it at some point. That is, of course, if I don't wind up in a position where I've overextended myself again, because I still tend to do that the same way as I did back in the day.
Next time, we'll get to Three Stooges jokes, references to my own health and a few others. Until then, stay tuned for more of my usual content as well.
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