Friday, August 18, 2017

TEXT PLAY: Final Fantasy IX (PlayStation, 2000, Square-Enix): Issue #035: Hookups Galore

No relation to the Bond Girl.

There's quite a bit that happens here. More than I had intended, really, but it wasn't as easily avoided as some might think.

Anyway, picking up from last time, we do indeed need to go see the play that's being put on by Ruby, the Tantalus member that accidentally got left behind in Alexandria after the big escape with Dagger. We can look around a little more as Vivi, but I did all I really could as him last time, so it's off to the play.

Turns out, Blank and Marcus just want Vivi to go in first so she's got a little guilt going on for yelling at the wrong person when the Black Mage winds up taking it for them. Unfortunately for them, Ruby calls them on it and is still in a bad mood after the show.

While that's going on, Dagger's getting ready for her coronation. Steiner, Beatrix and Dr. Tot are all there, attending her. Dagger asks the two soldiers if one of them can go get Zidane for her so they can talk one last time before the big day, but both say no. Afterwards, Tot and Steiner leave so that the ladies can get Dagger changed. Steiner, in a moment where he reminds me of myself, needs Tot to tell him to get going so that can happen.

Meanwhile, Zidane's still coming to terms with all this. As I said last time, Dagger turns out to be the first woman he's ever been in love with for realzies, and he doesn't know how to deal with the fact that it seems like he won't be able to be with her after all this. As a result, he's at the pub, drowning his sorrows.

At the same time, Eiko finds Tot and has him help her write this schmaltzy love letter intended for Zidane because she still thinks that she, as a six year old, has a real live shot at getting with somebody who's damn near 20. But that's not where things go sideways here. For as good at a lot of things as Tot is, he doesn't think to suggest filling in the “To” and “From” fields of this particular message, which means that it's going to wind up in some really wrong hands once Eiko loses control of it herself. Naturally, that happens almost instantly, when our buddy Baku trips over her, knocking the girl over a railing to leave her hanging on a convenient hook. Baku says he'll get the letter to Zidane because he can't get Eiko down from where she's stuck.

Things start going out of whack when Baku runs into Steiner at the ferry dock. The two bicker for a bit, and Baku drops the letter without noticing before he gets on the ferry back to town. Beatrix finds it and thinks that Steiner left it there for her and decides, for whatever reason, to show back up at midnight like the letter says to. Somehow, Beatrix then loses the letter, which is then found again by Marcus and Blank, who also think it's for at least one of them and decide to go see who the mystery woman is.

When the appointed hour shows up, Eiko is there, of course, because this whole thing was her idea, but takes cover when Blank and Marcus show up instead. They also hide when Beatrix and Steiner happen to show up within moments of one another and start acting like there's a little real, if tense, romance between them. Tot just happens by for his own reasons, and everybody realizes that this whole thing isn't what it seems.

Before all that goes down, Baku and the rest of the folks still in Tantalus show up at the pub to try to help Zidane pull himself together. Zidane says he wants to rejoin the gang, but Baku says he's gonna have to stay out until he gets his princess. As this is going down, Vivi shows up and talks Zidane into going to see Dagger one last time before they really do have to part ways.

On the way to the docks, we see Freya and Amarant cross paths. One thing I think I knew every time I've played through here is that maybe Freya and Amarant would make a good couple as well. They both need a decent sparring partner and would fill the role for one another quite well, and neither of them has anyone at the moment. But since they're about to have at one another, the guards at the dock threaten to bust them for disturbing the peace if they don't chill. Zidane and Vivi show up just in time to talk them down. Freya's upset because Zidane didn't go tell her what they found out about Kuja. I kind of get both sides here, because Zidane did say he would, but there wasn't much to tell and he's got other things on his mind anyway.

At the castle, Steiner is literally tossing Eiko out on her ass when the party gets there. The knight doesn't want much to do with most of the party, but says he'll arrange an audience with the princess since Vivi's the one who asked for it. Everybody's stunned with how Dagger looks in her fancy dress, to the point where Zidane's speechless for a change. Freya tries to bust his chops again, but Zidane just takes a seat on the floor and says that he had this whole speech planned about how he'd be watching from afar and would always be there for the princess, but then couldn't give it because he knew it was a lie and couldn't bear to tell the truth either.

But we're not going to be here for long, because it's off to Treno for a card game torunament, essentially. There are other reasons given, but the main one is the card game. There's a bit where the party plus Dr. Tot take the Gargant there. Freya is aparently a first time rider, and everybody else is noting that there's still Mist in the tunnel.

In Treno, everybody spreads out to do their own things. Freya and Amarant go off to look around seperately while Eiko demands that Vivi show her around town. These two kids make a cute, if way-too-young, couple. There's a scene where Eiko explains what's going on with Zidane and Dagger, for Vivi's benefit and then goes running off to the forum hosting the card game. Vivi runs into a guy he knows and they talk for a bit before we're given a chance to decide if he stays in town or goes to see his “grandfather's” old house. I usually have him go, but had I had a chance to save shortly beforehand, I'd go back and see what happens when he stays.

Meanwhile, Amarant happens by the bird lady's house and has a confrontation with the four-armed thief guy, who panics when he realizes who Amarant is. Eiko shows up to bug Amarant, and the four-armed dude gets the wrong idea when he sees that.

And while all that's going on, Zidane needs to get ready for the card tournament. Tot offers to help him some, and suggests that he also play random folks to help get his skill up. I need the pratice, too, and probably should get some before I go to the actual tournament next time.

Thing is, though, I really suck at the card games in both this game and it's immediate predicessor, and it's for a lot of the reasons Spoony went into with the Triple Triad card game in FF8 when he was reviewing the game ten years ago, though I am a little less harsh about it. I like the idea behind these things, of course; give the player a somewhat easy way to get bonuses they might not otherwise go for. At the same time, though, it's a more or less optional thing that gets more in the way of the game than it really needs to, as well. I'm kind of torn about what to think of these things. Tetra Master, the card game in FF9, this game, is a little easier to learn and play, and they do work it into the story, which I like a little better than the way they handled the one in FF8. Of course, now that I think about it a little bit, aside from this one time we'll be dealing with next issue, I don't think it ever really factors into the story again, and I'm not sure it would be worth it for the optional stuff I'd get for my efforts otherwise. It's also just as wonky as the one in FF8, because there, the card game just felt wedged into the game to give players another way to help keep the hero's levels down, since 8 is the one game in the series that I know of where it's to your advantage to do that. While the cards are, for the most part, entirely optional otherwise, it means there's an entire inventory of pointless items to deal with, and that brings me to another article I've been meaning to write for years and never seem to get to for some reason.


But anyway, it's time to wrap this up for now, so here's a love song by Johnny Mathis to go with all the pairing off and relationship issues that happened in the course of this issue. Next time we go play cards. Until then, stay safe, have fun, keep gaming, and DFTBA!

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