So, here I am, back to the same old bad habits that got me into the health I'm into now. It's like I've gone back to square one.
I mean, I've still managed to take a good amount of weight off and
everything. The problem is that I can't keep it off if I fall back
on those old stupid habits that got me into this, and that's exactly
what I've done, I'm afraid.
I'm not going to blame anyone for this because I don't think
there's any one party or group that really deserves it any more or
less than any of the others involved. And that's part of the problem
as to how and why I've gotten so badly off track on this whole
business of getting myself slimmed back down. There may be too many
parties trying to have a hand in this recently.
I'll certainly take my share of the blame for this, of course. I
know I've been doing a lot of stupid things lately, in part because
I've been under a lot of stress, with things going on in a few too
many places at once. I think things are back under control for the
time being, though.
Another part of this is that I know I'm going to need help making
this work. I can't do it on my own. At least not without making it
more difficult than it needs to be, anyway, which is something I
really don't like doing. As such, I'm in no rush to shoo away the
help I know I need to make this work.
Thing is, though, I sometimes think I've let that go a little too
far the other direction, and I may have wound up with a little too
much of a good thing in the help department again. A lot of it's me,
simply because I've never been much good at managing my personal time
and space, letting people know that there are a lot of times when I
say I don't have a plan, that may be the whole point, and I'm not
necessarily looking for something to do with my time. As much as I
like spending time with people and doing things with them, sometimes
I just need a little space.
I guess this boils down to is that I need to figure out how to get
myself back on track. Yeah, I'm going to need a little help with
that, but it's something I sorta need to figure out for myself,
largely on my own.
I don't relish the thought of having to start this whole process
over again, but then again, I'm also in a better starting position,
if only marginally, than I was the last time I tried to get this
business started. I guess that's something to be positive about,
Now I just gotta get back on the portion control and stress
management stuff again so that I'm not doing all the stupid shit
that's gotten me into this mess to begin with.