Pretty Much Back To Square One

So, here I am, back to the same old bad habits that got me into the health I'm into now. It's like I've gone back to square one.


I mean, I've still managed to take a good amount of weight off and everything. The problem is that I can't keep it off if I fall back on those old stupid habits that got me into this, and that's exactly what I've done, I'm afraid.


I'm not going to blame anyone for this because I don't think there's any one party or group that really deserves it any more or less than any of the others involved. And that's part of the problem as to how and why I've gotten so badly off track on this whole business of getting myself slimmed back down. There may be too many parties trying to have a hand in this recently.


I'll certainly take my share of the blame for this, of course. I know I've been doing a lot of stupid things lately, in part because I've been under a lot of stress, with things going on in a few too many places at once. I think things are back under control for the time being, though.


Another part of this is that I know I'm going to need help making this work. I can't do it on my own. At least not without making it more difficult than it needs to be, anyway, which is something I really don't like doing. As such, I'm in no rush to shoo away the help I know I need to make this work.


Thing is, though, I sometimes think I've let that go a little too far the other direction, and I may have wound up with a little too much of a good thing in the help department again. A lot of it's me, simply because I've never been much good at managing my personal time and space, letting people know that there are a lot of times when I say I don't have a plan, that may be the whole point, and I'm not necessarily looking for something to do with my time. As much as I like spending time with people and doing things with them, sometimes I just need a little space.


I guess this boils down to is that I need to figure out how to get myself back on track. Yeah, I'm going to need a little help with that, but it's something I sorta need to figure out for myself, largely on my own.


I don't relish the thought of having to start this whole process over again, but then again, I'm also in a better starting position, if only marginally, than I was the last time I tried to get this business started. I guess that's something to be positive about, anyway.


Now I just gotta get back on the portion control and stress management stuff again so that I'm not doing all the stupid shit that's gotten me into this mess to begin with.