I was going to go for a more political
joke in the title, but between what I've been doing in the FF9
playthrough and what I'll get to in a minute, I'm sure there's enough
of that around here.
So, I guess the place to start is with
the story, which is given something like the opening crawl seen in
the Star Wars movies. It's pretty much like I said last time, in
that it tells us about how there was the ancient civilization that
used the power of Mana to take over the world, only to ultimately
destroy most of it before a hero came to take out their super
fortress, which is a word I couldn't seem to spell before. By the
time it was all over, the gods and their Mana had faded to almost
nothing.
Thing is, though, the last lines of the
opening story seem especially relevant in today's world: “...But
time is a river, and history repeats.” Gonna go Winston near the
end of the original Ghostbusters movie, and suggest that maybe
history is indeed repeating itself, based on the way things seem to
be going at present.
After the opening bit of story and a
nice bit of Mode 7 flying over a part of the map, we see three young
boys, most likely in their early teens, trying to cross a log bridge
over a waterfall in search of some sort of treasure or something.
Two of them, officially named Anthony and Timothy, seem to be able to
do it with no trouble, but the hero, who we get to name, seems to
have about as much luck as I would. After a bit of explanation of
there being ghosts and shiny things, and a little teasing, the hero
takes an accidental dive off the bridge and lands squarely on his
noggin with no way back up to the bridge. One would think such a
spill would kill a guy, but if that were the case, we'd be without a
game.
Since this is indeed a game where we
get to name the hero, I do what I normally do in this situation and
name him after myself. Kinda like I did in Legend of Mana. But
since Jesse's stuck at the bottom of the waterfall and can't get back
to the village the way he came, he's got to find another way. As he
explores, he comes across a sword in a stone.
The sword calls to him, asking to be
pulled from the stone it's in, which is handy, because Jesse needs
something to cut through the weeds with to get back to town. When
the sword is removed, there's a bright light, which gives our hero a
vision of a guy who tries to tell him something about the sword. I'm
thinking it's supposed to be something about his destiny and being
the chosen one and all that, but all we get is a fragmented message.
On the way back to town, Jesse runs
into one of the series's more iconic monsters, the Rabbite, which is
meant to be a take on rabbits, only ones that will eat your face. He
says that he's surprised to see them in the woods, but I must wonder
why. Are there normally not such creatures there, for some reason?
Back in town, the villagers are all
worried that something's going to happen, and there's this guy in the
pub who kind of looks like the ghost Jesse saw by the waterfall.
Turns out, though, that the village elder wants to have a word with
the hero, as Timothy and Anthony told him what happened when they got
back. The elder freaks out when he sees the sword Jesse's got, as
luck would have it, it's the real live Mana Sword, or at least it
was, before it got rusted all to hell. With that revelation, the
bigger of the hero's companions starts pounding on him, blaming him
for the wave of monster attacks and being upset that some “outsider”
has pulled the sword and brought doom on the village.
Just at that moment, an earthquake
strikes, causing the hero and his friend to fall into a cavern with
the first boss of the game, the Mantis Ant. Since the hero has a
sword, his buddy tells him to kick it's ass and get them out. The
guy from the pub offers words of encouragement during the fight.
Funny thing here. When I first decided
I was going to do this, I found my cart and started a new game to
remind myself of how things worked. Had a lot of luck with getting
item drops on the way to town and managed to beat the Mantis Ant with
no real trouble. When I came back to start a game to actually write
about, my luck wasn't quite so good. Didn't get any item drops, and
must have gotten my ass kicked a half-dozen times before getting a
lucky shot to kill the boss.
Either way, once the fight's over, the
guy from the pub explains that Jesse really is the hero, and he's
going to have to be the one to restore the sword and save the world,
even if he's too young and happened to pull the sword early. He also
introduces himself as Jema and says to meet him at a place called the
Water Palace later so they can consult somebody called Luka.
Before the hero can leave, though, the
elder and the other villagers bannish the hero, telling him to not
return. This will be remedied by the end of the game, but for now,
it's one of a few places we won't be able to go back to once we
leave.
The elder's last story to the hero is a
bit about how the hero's mother brought him to the village as a baby
and then disappeared, leaving the baby in the care of the elder, who
didn't want to give him up, but must because of the new danger.
Before I go, there's the first helemt
of the game to be bought and equippeed before leaving. Also, it's a
good idea to pick up some candy to restore health and some medical
herbs to cure poison. I was going to go to the Water Palace but then
remembered that the save system in this game is kind of like the one
in the original Final Fantasy, in that it happens at the Inn in
villages. There's one in this village, called Potos, so I took
advantage and called it a night in that regard. The good news is
that one doesn't necessarily have to buy a night at the inn to save
in this game.
This is gonna be a slow start, and
maybe even a long playthrough. Not sure how far I'll make it, but
I'm going to at least try to finish the game, like I always do with
these things.
On a final note, the title of this
issue. The hero's friends at the beginning reminded me of something
I saw in a recent episode of a YouTube series called Gamer Poop. It
was a Skyrim episode, and had a section where a random guy killed a
thief and then joined up with a pair of custom characters meant to
parody Superman and Batman. I don't know if the rest of the game
will remind me of more of this episode, but the part I was
referencing this time starts
here and lasts about thirty seconds or so.
Anyway, time to call this part a night,
too, and get a little sleep. Until next time, stay
safe, have fun, keep gaming, and DFTBA!
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