Tuesday, September 26, 2017

TEXT PLAY: Final Fantasy IX (PlayStation, 2000, Square-Enix): Issue #037: The Fart Of The Cards


You know, I wouldn't have taken my time with getting around to [my new schedule] had I remembered how hard this tournament really was. But it's the kind of thing that took multiple sittings to get through, so we might as well get on with it.

When I sat down to do the first session, I had to cut it short on account of having something in the oven. My line of thought was “Oh, I'll just pop this in and do a little Final Fantasy 9 while it's cooking because the card tournament shoudn't take me more than the half hour or so this needs to cook for.” Turns out I was wrong, though. The rules of this tournament say we need to beat two other players before we can take on the long-reigning champion, who is described to Zidane as a cute girl in a salor suit. It's been awhile since I've played this part of the game, so I don't recall her name, but if it turns out she's called Serena, I'm going to punch someone.

The first guy was... well, let's just say that he was not hard and go with that, shall we? I'm just assuming these are other male characters we're playing against right now, anyway. I'm sure the first one was meant as such, anyway, since the “deuling name” we get is “Attic Wake Man”. Makes me think we're dealing with translation issues here. This is the kind of thing we'd get with the Woolsy translation team that was infamous for this sort of thing in the early days of the series, and I'm honestly not sure how long they were on the series.

Anyway, the first guy went three rounds because the first time, he won fair and square, the second round was a draw and I won the third. I'd say Attic Man Wake was more or less the same level I am, which ain't bad, but ain't exactly good, either. But at least this one left me with roughly the same amount of cards I had when I started.

The next guy was calling himself Cardona Bishop. Bishop has a lot of really good cards in his deck. There technically are better cards to be had, because I've got a few of them myself, but they were hard to come by. Most of my best cards are the ones Bishop is making whole hands out of. In fact, between using a hand made up entirely of the crappiest cards I had and getting a disadvantageous board, I wound up losing an entire hand to the guy. I'm hesitant to use my better cards on the guy because I want to keep them for the final round, but at the same time, I may need to remember my Rules of Acquisition, specifically the 62nd, in order to advance.

Between losing to Bishop a half-dozen times and the Active Time Events showing Vivi visiting his grandfather's long-abandoned place and Freya and Amarant working on their friendship, what I had in the oven actually got done before I could get through this part of the game, I figured it was time to stop for the night and pick it up again later.

But before I get to that later, the bit between Freya and Amarant gives us a glimpse of the “real” first time Amarant and Zidane met. Turns out Amarant was working security at the auction house in Treno, and Zidane horked something while he was on duty and managed to get away with it. As a result of their confrontation, Amarant got sacked from that job and damn near arrested for his trouble, which is part of why he wants to figure Zidane out so bad.

When I sat back down for the second session of this, I took the advice I gave myself at the end of the first one and started using my better cards on the second round of the tournament. I also discovered an error that I'd made the first time around. At first, I remembered the name of the guy as “Cardinal Bishop”, but the second time around I realized the first part was actually more along the lines of “Cardona”. I'm still not intirely sure that's correct, but I'm sure it's a lot closer than before.

Regardless of the guy's name, though, when I got serious about winning this thing, I really only needed two rounds. The first I lost, but the second I won. I'm sure it was at least as much luck as it was good choices with the cards I had and the playing board I got.

Winning the second round advances us to the third, which can only be played once, regardless of if we win or lose. There are a few big reveals here. One is that the Sailor Erin who's been built up as the champion of this tournament is actually the same Erin Zidane was hitting on in Disk One. Another is that she's actually not the real champ, but rather Regent Cid is, playing through Erin as a proxy.

Erin uses all Oglop cards because that's the form that Cid is stuck in right now. They're lower mid level cards, easy enough to beat with just about any of the cards I had, but I think going with some of my best was a good idea all the same. Another advantage was a decent board that worked in favor of the cards I'd chosen. I came away the winner of it and got a Rebirth Ring accessory as a prize. I'm sure there's a better prize for pulling off a perfect game, but the only time I can remember seeing something like that happen was the one I mentioned above.

There's a pair of ATEs that happen alongside the final round of the tournament. One's about Quina getting loopier than usual because they're hungry and don't have any gold to pay for food in Treno. I guess the Four-Armed Guy wasn't going to make good on the “date” he was using to lure Eiko in with last issue. It's no real surprise, of course, but I'm not sure how I should feel about it. On the one hand, I feel kind of bad for the guy, for lack of a better word. It's too bad they're going hungry like that. At the same time, though, I can't really feel too bad for somebody who gets that kind of creepy with other people. Either way, Quina winds up jumping into the river, and the old man who sees it go down thinks they've ended it all because of gambling debts. For a moment, I was kind of worried that Quina was actually dead, but that's not the case, as we'll see later.

The other shows us Eiko going to see Doctor Tot again. She's enthusiastic as always, but starts getting all worried when she gets a telepathic message from Mog about something urgent. They come running along to where Erin, Cid and Zidane are after the match, saying that they need to get to Alexandria about five minutes ago because everything's about to go to shit there.

Thing is, I had intended to save and quit after the tournament, but we're pretty much dragged into the following scene. When Eiko tells us about the emergency, Cid says he can get us there on his new airship that's steam-powered rather than Mist fueled. Thing's shaky as all hell and slow for an airship, but faster than walking. Vivi even gets airsick from it.

Meanwhile, Kuja is in the town of Alexandria, saying a poem about how evil is about to win before he summons Bahamut on the town and the castle, blasting the hell out of everything. Beatrix and Steiner get the Knights of Pluto ready to defend the place, gather information, and the like. There's certain teams that are better at certain tasks than others. Four tasks and four teams, and I got half right and half wrong. About average for me, I guess. From there, Beatrix and Steiner go into the village to help protect the people. Towards the end of the scene, Steiner tries to tell Beatrix that he loves her but only gets as far as saying he'll protect her along with everything else. Gotta say, Beatrix seems like she doesn't really need much protecting. Must say, I kind of like her for that.

About that time, Dagger passes out for a second and comes to hearing some sort of music that she follows to a secret area. Once she gets there, the castle starts transforming because it's the Esper Alexander. As the airship with the rest of the party gets close, the gem that Eiko's wearing starts glowing. She says that she's being summoned herself and does a swan dive off the front of the airship, landing on the balcony that Dagger's on. They do a prayer sort of thing and Alexander fully takes shape.

As the rest of the party lands the airship and goes in on foot, Kuja makes Bahamut duke it out with Alexander for a bit and then summons something called Invincible, which I guess is that eyeball thing he uses on eidolons or espers or whatever they are to sway them to his command. Just then, some Darth Vader looking guy takes control of the Invincible, saying that he shouldn't have had as much faith in either Kuja or Zidane as he did because not enough souls are leaving Gaia. It's all more than a little odd, in no small part because Kuja knows this guy and eventually says his name is Garland.

While that's going on, the rest of the party gets to the new part of the castle where Dagger and Eiko are. Zidane tells the others to get out of there while he goes to rescue the ladies. Amarant's the first to go for his own reasons while Vivi is the last because he wants to help. Eventually, though, everybody who needs to go does, and Zidane does get to the ladies in time to get them out.

There was a point in there where I could have saved before getting Dagger and Eiko out, but I had thought the disk would end there and I'd be saving and ending with that. It didn't, however, and we instead see Minister Aritania showing Cid how reconstruction is going in Lindblum when they run into Baku and Blank. After a bit of discussion, Baku sends Blank to find Zidane in the guest room of the castle. I think I may have messed up a bit here, because there's a bit of dalouge between the two where we're given the option of having Zidane either ask how he got there or where Dagger is. I went for asking where Dagger is but then turned around and went back into the guest room to use the save point instead because it was getting late when I was doing this, as usual. So, when I get back to this, I'll go have a look by the telescope and see if I can find Dagger there before I go see Regent Cid to advance the story. Until then, stay safe, have fun, keep gaming, and DFTBA.

Oh, and if you want to see the whole cartoon I got the title gag for this issue from, see the link below:


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