It seems like I've been having a lot of those lately...
Maybe it's depression, maybe it's something else, I don't know. Either way, I suspect trying to self-diagnose would be an exceedingly dumb idea in this case.
At any rate, it's been a long, downward slope over the last, well, it's just under a year, I suppose. I know a big chunk of it's job stress. That's a thing I can do something about, and really, should have awhile ago. Unfortunately, until recently, I was busy being the delusional sort who thought the situation would somehow get turned around all on its own, and I haven't been doing much to actually remedy the situation. As a result, it's kind of gotten the better of me, and now I'm not entirely sure how to go about fixing the situation. Getting it figured out is made just that much harder by the fact that this thing's on top of me now, and it's going to be hard to think straight until I get it off. Kind of a circular thing that there's a good chance I'm over-thinking.
Something else that's not really helping any is that in the span of two and a half or three months, I've lost two relatives: an uncle and the older of my grandmothers. I didn't know either of them as well as I would have liked, and it's not like these passings were particularly sudden or unexpected, but it still doesn't make it any easier. The uncle, who passed back in July, was my favorite of the ones I can say I got to know very well. Grandmothers are special people, no matter how well we know them, and losing them is always a hard thing, especially since I'm now down to one grandparent left.
As a result of all of this, I've been finding it harder and harder to carry on with the things I love doing so much. It all used to come so easily, but now it seems like I can't even get myself motivated to play video games any more. It's sad, really, because I know I need to fix this, but have no idea when to begin doing that.