Feeling Like Vaporware

There's a lot I've said I want to get done here, but I've been having way too much trouble making it happen lately.

I remember what a lot of it is, too, so it's not like I can say that I've just forgotten about it. It's more that I've been having trouble with time management and that sort of thing. This has been a hell of a year so far, and not just for this whole “human malware” thing and my grandmother's passing, either. There's some of it that's personal, and is likely to stay that way for the foreseeable future, but I'm hoping there will eventually come a point where maybe I can say a few things about them.

There are some health issues I've got going on that I'm sure are having an effect on this. In the course of the last year or so, I've taken a little weight off and have gotten on a bipap machine when I sleep, and so far, I'd say those things are mostly positive. Physically, I feel better than I have in a long time, and I'm sure my oveall health is better than it was this time last year.

Mentally, however, I'm feeling more wiped out than I was when I started all this, I think. This whole virus thing is part of it, of course, and on top of that there's job stress that I'll leave alone for now, as well as some other personal stuff that I might get to eventually. It's just making me feel very tired, mentally; unable to focus and concentrate on things I really need to right now.

All this is making what I do on this blog, and other venues or platforms or forums or whatever the correct term for where I post stuff like this just that much harder. As I've mentioned a time or two recently, I've got stacks and stacks of projects I've been meaning to get to for months, if not longer, and it's hard enough to just pick one and make it happen when I'm not stressing about a million other things that make all this seem trivial and meaningless.

The good news in all this, I guess, is that I've got some things going on that might help me get some of it sorted and keep me going in the right direction with my health and whatnot. Maybe I'll actually be able to get back to a better place with some of this stuff.

If not that, I'd at least like to get to a point where I don't feel like I'm just saying things about what I intend to do and then having it just be vaporware. I feel bad about talking about all this stuff and not getting it done.

Hopefully, there'll be a little positive change soon.