Monday, June 22, 2015

TEXT PLAY: Final Fantasy VIII (SquareSoft, 1999; Playstation): Issue #034: My Head Hurts...

The hell's going on here, anyway...?

I'm going to be keeping these FF8 issues short for awhile, I think. If the little bit I played just prior to writing this is how the rest of the game is, I really hope the save points aren't more than a half-hour apart, because I fear my head may explode from trying to keep things straight if I have to go longer than that.

So, anyway, where I'd left off was with Laguna, Kiros and Ward getting ready to go back into the research facility to confront Odine about where Ellone is. When they go back into the first room on the main floor, they see that Odine has buggered off someplace. Makes sense, after all, as the guy's at his job and probably has work to do. But there is the very first issue of Weapons Monthly on the floor. Funny how these things just get left laying around, considering how valuable they are. These folks are worse about that sort of thing than I am. This issue of Weapons Monthly has articles about the ultimate weapons for Squall, Rinoa, Quistis and Irvine. I guess that's as good a way as any to start off a magazine.

Seeing that Odine's not where he was before, Laguna and his guys go down to the lower level and find Odine working on something. Laguna asks him where the girl is, but before the mad doctor can answer, some guards show up with one of the laserball monsters and try to beat up the party, rightly calling them morons for coming back.

After the fight, Odine pretty much flip-flops instantly on knowing where the girl is. At first he says that he's never even heard her name before, but then turns around and says yes he does but won't tell any more. Kind of like that whole routine where somebody confesses to being a liar and then says they're lieing to you about it. After he does that, he runs past the party to get on the elevator. Where he waits. For the guys he knows have guns and knives and spears to get on. With him. Of course he's not scared. Why would he be? It's not like these guys could kill him or anything.

Instead of threatening him for the information, they just follow him as he runs to a car that's pulling up outside. Odine then tells them that Ellone's at someplace called the 0 Lab, which the assistant says means Odine's Laboratory. When Laguna asks how to get there, the assistant says, quite literally, by going over here, then over there, then over here again. Seriously, that's the best he can do? I guess it's not like Laguna would have been able to remember anyway, but all the same, why no minigame for me to play? Or do I not get to do that right now?

But I guess Ward knows the way, so the guys hop in the car to go to Odines's other lab while the man himself goes back into the one they're already at. Maybe it's that I'm playing late after a long day at work, but this just doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense to me. So, anyway our heroes jump out of the car before whoever's driving stops. Makes me think the car wound up crashing, because I thought Ward was driving.

Once our heroes actually get into the place they were going to, they perform a scene from the Three Stooges short The Uncivil Warriors, when the Stooges reach their destination. Curly's assessment is that he reckons they've found the place because there's no other place around the place, he reckons.

Since there's a save point here, and as I've said before, my head hurts just from the little bit I've tried tonight, I'm gonna wrap this up here and try to sleep this headache off.

My final thought for this issue is that for the good moments this game has had here and there, there are as many or more moments like this that make me think that the people in charge of the story part of this game had either forgotten how to write a decent story somehow or were very new to the process. Either way, I can sympathize, because I've written actually quite a lot of fiction in my time, and doing it even as well as I do is not an easy task, by any means.

For now, though, it's time for bed. Hopefully, I'll be back soon, able to take more of the WTF-ery this game seems to have for me. Until then, stay safe, have fun, keep gaming, and DFTBA!

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