Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Text Play: Breath of Fire (SNES): Issue Five: The Stoned Robot

This might be kind of a long one, compared to what's come before, but but better than too short, I think.

The King Key from Agua starts the giant stone robot north of Tuntar and Tantar, so once you've schelped all the way back there after killing off the zombies in Romero and climbing the tower to get it, you can finally get to work on the brickwork man. And an unusual trip it is, too.

There are a few new enemies in this thing, which is nice, especially since they're not undead. Probably my favorite of these is the Midget, which is essentially an armor helmet that has arms and legs and throws an ax at the party. There's also some OK treasure to be found. Worth getting on the way through, especially since the Robot is going to be like Nanai by the time all's said and done.

Now, this could be short and sweet, because it really takes longer to beat the Dark Dragon General and his to lackies than it does to actually find them, and once that's done it's a simple matter of using the key on the Robot's heart and teleport pads in the right order to get to the control room. Once there, the party orders the Robot to go blow up the rock that's holding back the river, which it does without hesitation. And just like that, the day is saved before I can even make one decent joke work. I could just go back to the twin villages and call this an issue, but as I'm sure you can see, that would be awfully short, barely worth anyone's time.

So, continuing on, the chief of the Forest Clan goes on to say that he's helping he chief of the other village plan a wedding between a human chick named Amelia and a Forest Clan wolf dude named Terry, so he has you go up north to get the Ring out of the cave there. Turns out the cave got flooded when the Dark Dragons cut off the river. Kind of a dumb move on their part, I would think, but I'm no bad guy who wants to blackmail people.

Once you get the Ring, which the Forest Clan seems inclined to let you keep, you've got an accessory that boosts the strength of whoever wears it. Cool beans, I guess. And once you get back to town, the Tuntar half is empty because everybody's gone to the wedding in Tantar. It's a brief and to the point wedding, kinda like the one my own parents had.

Good thing everybody went to it, though, because the General from before didn't actually die when the party killed him before. Turns out he was a Gremlin who got back into the Robot and used it to blow up Tuntar. It also seems that the Robot has Mister Data's emotion chip, because once it blows up the town, it stops responding to General Gremlin, who the party fights and kills for good. The Gremlin's a bigger pain in the ass than all the undead monsters in the game, as it managed to take out two of the three characters I had at this point, and had the hero not survived, I'm not sure this piece would be appearing as close to on schedule as it is.

With that taken care of, the Robot runs the party south to a river they need to cross in order to continue on. The bridge to do so is out, but the Robot, overcome with grief over what it was forced to do, jumps into a handy volcano, which erupts and makes the river passable.

On the other side of the river is the first Dragon Shrine, where the hero gets his dragon morphs. The boss fight in there is one-on-one, hero against a thing called Talon. It's a hard-as-hell fight, but worth it, because the dragon morphs come in handy, if only because they give the hero a free health refill and higher defense whenever he uses one. Plus, the breath attacks are actually pretty good if you can figure out how to use them.

From there, it's Somewhere Over The River, The Town Of Scande, but that's better dealt with next issue. So I guess I'll wrap this up and see you then.  I'm just glad this isn't as long as I thought it might be. Good night, everybody!

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