So here we are, pretty much in the home stretch for this particular part of FtOF. There's only two chapters left after the three I'm posting here, and I think I'll be just as glad to be done with it now as I was back in 2003, when I originally wrote this. Oddly enough, this is one of the few fan fics I ever had people admit to reading by leaving comments. I'll have to see if I can find the one other that really got the responses. But that'll be for another time.
For now, here's part 3 of 4 of our bad crossover fan fiction.
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Warp Power Studios and Theaters presents
A J. Michael Shearer production
Grand Theft Ham-Ham
By Jesse Shearer
If you’ve read this far, you probably already know about the warning. If
not, watch out for lots of crude language and behavior, and such.
Segment 7: The Pandamobile
Once the Ham-Hams had reached Panda’s work area, Boss had calmed down enough
to work on the car.
“It looks nice, Panda,” Hamtaro commented.
“Yes, it’s almost done,” the panda-patterned hamster said. “And I’ve added
some things to this one that the other one didn’t have.”
“Like what?” Oxnard asked.
“I managed to make a version of Maxwell’s radio that can go two ways that
I’ve put in there,” Panda explained. “Now whoever’s driving can talk to the
Ham-Hams at the clubhouse.”
“It sounds great!” Boss exclaimed. “I’ll go get my tools so we can finish
this faster.”
As Boss left, Jingle came from the same direction, riding his pig Herbert.
The others looked half annoyed.
“How’s it going, Hambake?” Jingle asked Hamtaro as Herbert stopped.
“I could be better, but these two peabrains lost our new toy,” Hamtaro
explained, making a point to embarrass Dexter and Howdy.
“So I heard,” Jingle responded. “The wheels on the car go around and
around. What’s good is bad and then good again.”
“You on drugs or somethin’?” asked Howdy.
“Yeah, what are you trying to say?” Dexter asked.
“You lost one car just in time to get another,” Jingle explained. “And now,
like a wheel, I must roll on.”
“I’m glad he’s gone,” Hamtaro said as Jingle and Herbert slowly wandered
off.
“Me, too,” Dexter agreed a moment before Boss returned.
“Where’s my damned tools?” Boss asked, with a mix of confusion and
absent-mindedness in his voice.
“What’s the matter, Boss?” Panda asked.
“Somebody took my toolbox,” Boss said. “I know I left it right over there…”
“Well, Jingle did come from there as you were going that way,” Dexter
commented.
“You don’t suppose…” Hamtaro suggested, as everyone looked in the direction
that Jingle was headed.
To be continued soon in Segment 8: Jingle the Thief!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Warp Power Studios and Theaters presents
A J. Michael Shearer production
Grand Theft Ham-Ham
By Jesse Shearer
Grand Theft Auto produced by Rockstar Games
Hamtaro presented by ShoPro
Note: As in previous segments, the Ham-Hams are not exactly in character and
there may be crude language and violence.
Segment 8: Jingle the Thief.
“It does look like Jingle’s our most likely suspect,” Dexter said.
“I’ll believe that when I see it,” Boss said. “That hopped up ham couldn’t steal
anything if his life depended on it.”
“You’d better check out what he’s got with him, then,” Hamtaro suggested. Boss
turned his head to look at Jingle and Herbert as they ambled away.
“My toolbox!” Boss exclaimed when he saw that Jingle had actually made off with
it.
“We should really try to stop him,” Dexter suggested.
“You think?” Hamtaro remarked sarcastically.
“Get that guy!” Boss shouted, and all five Ham-Hams began chasing the pig-riding
hamster who had robbed them.
Meanwhile, Snoozer was being his usual sleepy self in the shade of a tree near
the clubhouse. Pashmina, Penelopy and Bijou were there, as well, enjoying a nice
day outside. When the three girl hams saw the chase coming their way, they first
tried to wake Snoozer and then began dragging him once they realized that it was
going to be impossible to wake him.
“Dead ahead roadkill,” Jingle muttered as he lined Herbert up with the pack of
slow-moving hamsters and made him charge. The three alert Ham-Hams dodged as
Jingle attacked, but it looked as if Snoozer had been hit. Boss and his four
companions gave up chasing Jingle to make sure their friends were alright.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” Pashmina said.
“Is Snoozer alright?” Hamtaro asked.
“I think so,” Dexter said as he checked the sleeping creature’s breathing.
“I’m fine,” Snoozer answered sleepily.
“How about you three?” Oxnard asked of the other three that were almost hit.
“We are fine,” Bijou said.
“That’s good,” Boss said. “Now I have another reason to get Jingle.”
“What’s that mean?” Pashmina asked.
“He stole my toolbox,” Boss explained. “And he tried to run Bijou over.”
“But he got away,” Oxnard said.
“Damn,” Boss cursed.
“Only for now, though,” Panda said. “Only for now.”
To be continued in Segment 9: Revenge on Jingle…
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Warp Power Studios and Theaters Presents
A J. Michael Shearer Production:
Grand Theft Ham Hams
Grand Theft Auto produced by Rockstar Games
Hamtaro presented by ShoPro
Please note that this is a crossover between Hamtaro and Grand Theft Auto 3. It,
therefore, will involve instances of swearing and violence. By now, it may be a
bit late to turn back, but if such things upset you, now’s the time to do so.
Segment 9: Revenge on Jingle
Once the Ham Hams had assembled at the clubhouse after the incident with Jingle,
they began discussing what they would do to get back at their new musical
annoyance.
“I say we form a posse and beat him up, dude,” Stan suggested.
“Sounds like a good plan,” Howdy agreed.
“I like that plan,” Boss said. “Let’s do it!”
All the other hamsters in the room agreed as well.
“But what do we call this group?” Hamtaro asked.
“How about the Ham Ham Police Department?” Dexter suggested.
“Yeah, whatever,” Boss said. “Let’s just get going.”
With that, the newly formed Ham Ham Police Department departed, calling
itself the “HHPD.” The Ham Hams searched for most of the afternoon before they
found Jingle goofing off in the park. Boss quickly gave the search party away by
shouting.
“Stop! This is the HHPD!” Boss shouted as the chase began. During the
chase, other Ham Hams chimed in with the likes of “Freeze!” and “Stop! Police!”
As the chase continued, other park animals and pets with a grudge against Jingle
joined in. Birds and squirrels followed in the air and trees, with cats joining
the chase on the ground. Even Brandy the Dog joined in.
“We are going to KILL you!” a squirrel shouted from the trees.
“You can’t say that! It’s not in the book!” another chastised.
Eventually, the greatly enlarged search party caught Jingle and his pig.
“Bitch!” exclaimed Boss, as he hurled Jingle to the ground.
“Anything you say is shit!” a cat continued, as he pined the hamster
down.
“Should we give him a beating?” Hamtaro asked.
Segment 10: Dealing with Jingle on hold indefinitely!
======================================================
It kind of shows that I was starting to run out of decent ideas as to how to make this work once I got about halfway through part 8. There's a lot of quotes from the actual game from here on. Like I may already have mentioned, I'm surprised that I dragged this thing out to eleven chapters. Somehow I did, though. Be on the lookout for that here in the next couple days or so, and hopefully some other stuff that really is new.
Until then, see you around, dear readers!
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